Selfies vs. Teamies

I’ve been to several MLB ballgames this season. On the field, the players compete, bringing all of their skills to play for and support one another. In other words, the team and winning as a team are all that matters.

In the stands, it can be much different. I sat behind people in two of the games who were much more interested in themselves than in watching the ballgame. In both cases, I watched as those people shot selfie after selfie, then posted those pictures for their legions of social media admirers to see and comment on (yes, I was looking over their shoulders to see what they were doing with so many selfies).

I’m not a fan of selfies, but I understand that they’re a thing and that people want to participate in those things. But, when a 20-something takes and posts selfies every five minutes, in exactly the same location using the same background, it seems this is more about self-obsession than just participating in a thing. And, yes, it was quite literally every five minutes for awhile and it was crazy to witness.

Fast forward two weeks later to a different game I was attending. This time the person sitting in front of me was a 40-something, who -- you know what’s coming -- was also selfie-obsessed. The number of selfies did not reach the level of the 20-something. However, I watched her take no less than 8 of them over the course of the 4 innings she was at the game.

“This is me at Wrigley.”

“This is me in my sunglasses at Wrigley.”

“This is me with my cocktail at Wrigley.”

(Captions are mine. I couldn’t see what she was typing.)

I began to think about the juxtaposition of these selfie-takers and the teams on the field. The irony was enormous.

I’m not saying that taking selfies means you’re selfish. It’s not the act itself, it’s what these people did after taking their many pictures that I think is a symptom of bigger issues,

I believe the internet has helped make our society more selfish than ever. Social media begs to be fed massive doses of “look at me” on a continual basis. Pictures of Me, pictures of My family, pictures of Me doing things. And plenty of opportunities to offer My opinion on an array of subjects I most likely have zero expertise in. And each time you comment on My pictures and opinions, you reinforce how important I am.

Think I’m wrong? Google all of the instances of someone getting arrested for various crimes because they didn’t just brag about committing them, but posted pictures or videos of their actions online. I have to assume it was important for them to share their faces in the middle of a crime scene because whatever they’re doing is so spectacular, their friends will line up to high-five them.

We see the results of selfishness every day. One of the most current examples is the unwillingness of so many to wear masks to avoid spreading Covid-19 because it infringes on personal liberty. But I would say that selfishness has invaded so much of the world around us. For many in our culture, life is a zero sum game. If you win, I lose and vice versa. Compromise -- the concept that neither of us gets everything we want but we both get enough -- is a dinosaur in our national debates on just about everything. And for individuals, being selfish brings with it plenty of potentially negative consequences for your career, your social life, your family life.

I’m in the youth sports business because I care about kids and I believe that sports teach valuable life lessons that will help them become better adults. Parents like you want their kids participating in sports for the same reason.

One of the most important lessons sports teaches is teamwork -- working together to achieve goals. By their very nature, teams require us to check our egos at the door. That’s true whether we’re talking about sports, medicine, business -- whatever your team is endeavoring to achieve. So my question is, did those adults who are uber self-obsessed miss out on team sports when they were young? Or did they just not get the lessons?

The average age for kids to get their first social media account is 12.6 years. Which means, while you and I are in the midst of teaching the positives of being a team player, your kids are getting a completely different lesson from their online experiences. These are competing voices in your kid’s head. The question is, which one will win?

Recently, Simone Biles stepped back from competing in Tokyo. It doesn’t matter if it was because she had a physical issue (the twisties) or couldn’t be at her best because she just wasn’t in the right headspace. She withdrew during the team portion. After dropping out, she said, “I didn't want to risk the team a medal for my screwups, because they've worked way too hard for that.” As she let them know she was not going to compete, she could be heard telling her teammates, "You guys have trained your whole entire life for this, it's fine. I've been to an Olympics, I'll be fine. This is your first — you go out there and kick ass, okay?"

Possibly the greatest gymnast of all-time did not want to hurt her teammates because she wasn’t able to hold up her end. Yes, we heard all about her putting her emotional needs first and the dangers of attempting those incredible maneuvers if you’re not completely focused and at the top of your game. And it’s all true. But, at that moment, her first consideration was for her team.

What a lesson for young athletes. What a lesson for young people who aren’t athletes. What a lesson for the selfie takers who sit in front of me.

There are plenty of moments in life one should think of themselves first. Sports will teach your kids that it’s not every moment.