Winning is fun. But this is ridiculous

I'm sure by now you've heard about the youth baseball organization in New Jersey that came up with an idea for parents who give umpires a hard time. If not, you can read more about by clicking here.

In short, the league has created a policy that any parent ejected from a game by the umpire will then have to umpire a couple of games himself (male pronoun on purpose). Whether you or I think this is a good or bad idea, the point is that the league felt they had a problem to solve, a problem that was getting worse. They had to stop parents from berating teenage umpires.

Two weeks before that story broke, there was an incident at the end of a wrestling match between two 14 year-olds in Oak Park. After the match, the young man who won the contest extended his hand for the normal post-match shake. Instead of shaking his hand, his opponent sucker punched him in the face. The attacker explained, "I was angry because I had lost the match."

At first glance, these two reports have nothing in common, other than people behaving badly. I would ask you to see this from a different perspective because I believe that these stories have the same core cause.

Today, youth sports has taken on way too much importance. The reaction of many parents to success and failure on the field is out of proportion. Sadly, for kid athletes, that disproportionate reaction raises the stakes of each game -- of each play! -- to unhealthy levels.

It's great when young players love the sports that they play. It's also great when parents take an interest in their kids activities. However, what we're seeing now is love and interest gone way too far. Each contest is a must-win for many young athletes. That's a level of stress that's not good for them and it's the complete opposite of why they should be involved in sports in the first place.

Vince Lombardi, legendary coach of the Green Bay Packers, often said "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." It's one thing for people involved in professional sports to have that attitude. But, children should not engage in sports to win-or-die. First, they miss out on the absolute joy of playing games. Second, they miss out on the most important life lessons they should learn through playing.

Every day I hear stories from parents of behavior they see in their house leagues or in their travel team games or high school games. I have witnessed for myself many moments and incidents that make me shake my head and ask myself, how did this child's game become so important that these people are willing to make fools of themselves?

There have always been coaches who take things too seriously and get too tightly wound. But until recent years, it was far more rare to see a parent lose their cool and berate an umpire to the point of being ejected. I would say that the number of incidences have risen to the level where a baseball league had to take action.

The truth is that children do not appreciate their parents yelling at officials from the bleachers. It embarrasses them. It takes the game away from them. Ultimately, it plants the seed in them that the game they're playing isn't about having fun. In this age of increasing mental health problems in children, they need outlets where they can just have fun, where they can experience joy simply from playing a game. No stress. No expectations. No embarrassment.

Each of you reading this have likely seen this problem up close at your kid's games. If you have, you should know that the disproportionate importance placed on winning by just a few parents can be contagious. It's important to have a talk with your own child. Let him/her know that you want to be involved in their sports activities because you enjoy watching them play. Make sure they understand that if they see or hear things from other parents or players that make them nervous or stressed about their own play, that they can talk to you about it.

Winning isn't everything. That should be the end of the phrase.